In a shocking new development that could lead to World War III and the end of the world as we know it, President Donald Trump announced that he is dropping MOABS (the Mother of All Bullshit) on Iran.
“I will be dropping bullshit on Iran THE LIKES OF WHICH NOBODY HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE!!!” Trump tweeted, truthsocialed, and screamed out the White House bathroom window at the top of his lungs.
Later, at this morning’s press conference, Trump announced that the Air Force had seized more than 900,000 head of cattle from the Kuner Feedlot in Kersey, Colorado and was feeding them prunes and Ex Lax in order to produce the requisite amount of 100% pure cattle excrement required for MOABS to reach critical mass.
Trump threatened to drop unprecedented masses of pure, unadultrated bullshit on Iran’s Fardow nuclear facility. He added that he would drop even bigger piles of bullshit on Tehran, and directly on the head of the Supreme Leader himself, if Iran didn’t immediately start being reasonable and abandoning nuclear activity, like Israel has, and negotiating calmly and rationally like Trump himself does.
“Nobody drops bullshit better than me!” Trump ranted. “This bullshit is the biggest bullshit ever! Everybody should immediately evacuate Iran! Everybody should immediately evacuate the entire Middle East! Everybody should immediately evacuate the entire PLANET! Because I, Donald J. Trump, am President! Now please excuse me while I go evacuate.”
Reached in her separate bedroom at Mar-a-Lago, Melania Trump confirmed that Trump is indeed “the mother of all bullshitters” and expressed hope that the people of Iran, unlike she herself, would not have to spend the rest of their lives trying to dig their way out from under trillions of tons of Trump’s seemingly infinite supply of bovine excrement.
